reclaiming your joy

Smile

July 25, 2026 by Emily Thiroux Leave a Comment

While dealing with, grief we often forget to smile. We aren’t noticing things that are still there that we would have smiled about in the past. An easy way to deal with this issue is to be mindful.

I noted that I wasn’t feeling very happy lately, so I started paying attention to my surroundings, and immediately, I had much to smile about. My friend was visiting, and I noticed she had on a really cute dress that I hadn’t seen before. When I complimented her, she smiled and did a few model poses, and I smiled right back at her. That felt so good, and it was easy.

Later I was sitting where I could see my back yard. There is so much to look at, and I was amazed at the beauty of ever-changing view. I remembered that last year I had the huge avocado tree harvested and I was able to donate the half a ton of avocados to several food banks who feed the hungry. That made lots of people happy. The tree is heathy, beautiful, and strong, and I smiled at knowing we will have lots to donate again this year.

After this beautiful day, I wrote in my journal creating a smile list include some of the things that make me happy like these:

Painting watercolors
Baking cookies
Watching puffy white clouds float by
Watching the sun rise or set
Seeing rainbows
Hearing the neighborhood children laugh and play
Writing letters to friends
Getting and giving a hug with a friend
Smelling fresh laundry when it comes out of the dryer
Listening to many kinds of music
Playing with my neighbor’s dog

I could go on and on. I am sure you can relate to many of the items on my list, and I am sure you have many of your own. Now is a good time to write a smile list in your journal. Make it as long as you can and be sure to leave room to include more things as you think of them. Notice how you feel as you write the list. You will probably have lots of smiles, and a few tears may sneak in too. Take good care of yourself as you write your list.

Whenever you start to feel down, return to this page in you journal to help you to remember you how beautiful your smile is.

Feelings

July 5, 2026 by Emily Thiroux

An old song from 2003 written by Bobby Solo sometimes gets stuck in my head:

Feelings, nothing more than feelings,

Trying to forget my,

Feelings of love

It’s a sad song about living without the lover he no longer has. Many times, relationships end before both people in the couples ar ready. The best way to avoid this situation is to spend time to nurture the relationships the from the start.

Taking care of relationships while both people are healthy is wonderful, but we aren’t always that lucky. If you are in a position where you are both feeling pretty good, take advantage of that, and if you have children still living with you or close by, involve them too.

Often, we get too busy to take good care of ourselves and our loved ones. Don’t let that happen to you. Time flies by so quickly! Find ways to make the most of your times together. Schedule a family game night or dinners or a dessert party. Or have creative times together where you plant seeds or plants in your gardens, or barbeque and make homemade ice cream with peaches from off your trees.

You can also plan short or long trips together or just learn more about common interests. Maybe you could learn fly fishing or deep-sea fishing. Maybe you could teach each other how to make ceramic pots, or homemade pasta, or maybe you could take dance classes, or audition for a local theatre production.

Remember how short life is and find ways to just have fun! Spending life loving your family and friends is so worth it!

Dream

June 18, 2026 by Emily Thiroux

Dreams that come while sleeping come in an unlimited variety. They can be from memories, from desires, from sadness, from joy, or from and entirely unknown source. They range from terrifying to incredible happiness. While they can affect our lives in some ways, the more powerful dreams that we have come from while we are awake.

In the daylight we can actively dream about whatever we want to. We can create in our mind the life we would love to live, then go on to create that life. I dreamed when I was in college that I would be a writer. I planted that seed when I was in a writing class. At the time, I didn’t judge that dream, and I didn’t dwell on it, but it remained in my mind occasionally reminding me to write a bit about something.

Ironically, before I did much writing, I was hired to teach a writing class at the community college. I learned much about writing, and about what not to write, by grading endless writing assignments. And I stared writing more myself. I’d dream in my journal about what I would love to do and how I loved to do whatever that was, and it frequently changed. And I loved teaching writing so much that I was hired to teach writing at a university.

One dream came true in an unexpected way. I had a representative of Prentice Hall Publishing drop by my office one day to convince me to order a book he was selling for my class. I told him he didn’t have anything I wanted. Startled, he said “What do you want?” I described to him how I was frequently the only person who was not from a different country or different culture. All the books he offered were by old, white men. My students needed writing examples from a variety of people. He said “That’s just what we’ve be looking for! Will you write it for us?” I said yes, and my textbook writing career began.

That little seed I’d planted years before had started to grow without me even realizing it. I’ve gone on to write 5 more books after that, taught writing at a university for 30 years, and now I encourage people to write through their grief to bring them comfort and realize happiness.

What dreams have you dreamed that have come true? What dreams are you dreaming about now? Whatever your dreams are, write them in your journal and maybe even tell a friend. The more you focus on a dream, the more likely it is to come true. There is no limit to what to dream about. Just dream.

Dream bigger than you can ever imagine.

Let’s Go to the Movies

May 28, 2026 by Emily Thiroux

On an interview about her new movie, Sally Field was talking about how it was to work with an Octopus. Then she mentioned that the plot was about a widow dealing with grief, so I decided to watch Remarkably Bright Creatures, and I am so glad I did. The movie is beautifully done, and I was in love with Marcellis, the octopus, by the end. The movie is fresh and beautiful and allows you to feel for both the widow and for Marcellis.

It seems that most movies and television series have grief intertwined either in the main plot or in subplots. Many times, watching about someone else’s loss or sadness allow your tears to flow which can be a welcome release while you are grieving. Has that happened to you? Think about shows you have seen that have grief as the plot or subplot. Here are a few movies, some oldies and some new, to consider:

Steel Magnolias

The Whale

Collateral Beauty

The Descendants

The Big Chill

Ordinary People

Our Souls at Night

Titanic

A Star is Born

Marly and Me

Terms of Endearment

Beaches

Life is Beautiful

The Notebook

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Lion

Moonlight

E T

Toy Story 2

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Sophie’s Choice

Old Yeller

Million Dollar Baby

The Color Purple

Pieces of a Woman

The Farewell

Drive My Car

Monster

If Beale Street Could Talk

Bambi

The Lion King

Frozen

Coco

Lilo and Stich

How many of these have you watched? What kinds of emotions did you feel? Did it feel like it helped you? What television shows have you watched that were about grief in some way? I’d love to see your comments about this?

Be sure to watch Remarkably Bright Creatures. Click here for a short preview.

Inside Out

May 21, 2026 by Emily Thiroux

Grieving can be lonely especially when we hold every feeling deep inside ourselves which is most common. Often, we feel we don’t have anyone to talk to, especially anyone who would want to hear about our feelings. Not dealing with our feelings can cause them to grow and fester and be even harder to handle. So, what should you do? The answer is “Something”!

The first step to take is to get out a journal or even a piece of paper and make a list. Each item on a list is a different feeling that you are experiencing related to your grief, such as:

I’m afraid I will cry if I try to talk to someone.
Nobody cares about what I am going through.
No-one else I know has had a child die, or a husband, or a mother, or a friend so they won’t understand.
Nobody else could possibly feel as bad as I do.

Think about how you feel when you read each of these statements. Do you relate to any of them? Choose one of the items from your list and write all about it. For instance:

Let’s say you write, “I’m afraid I will cry if I try to talk to someone.”

Think about that statement. If you were talking to a friend of yours who was grieving, and that person started to cry, would you be surprised? I doubt it. Chances are you would hand them a Kleenex or give them a hug and wait for the tears to stop. People cry when they are grieving. Don’t worry if you do.

This simple technique applied to any of the feelings you are dealing with will demonstrate to you that your feelings are valid, but they don’t need to cause you to isolate yourself. You may be surprised at how supportive a friend can be. The key is to recognize that is what is happening and allow yourself to shift direction to a positive frame of mind. You can do this! You are stronger than you think.