Joy

Be The Light

by Leave a Comment

We tend to be influenced by the people around us.  When someone is in a bad mood, do you feel that affecting you? Or when your companions are laughing and smiling, do you smile along? When I worked in the Emergency Room at the hospital, when I had to give someone sad news and they cried, I cried right along with them. That’s pretty normal behavior to act like those around you.

When I realized that even though I was grieving, I still could be happy, I discovered how important smiling is to me. While I was pretty good at smiling along with others, smiling on my own turned from a challenge to a pleasure. The best thing about that is when people smile along with me.

If you tend to be negative or if smiling on your own is hard for you to do, try seeking out joy. Where can you find it? Maybe there is a tv show that makes you laugh out loud, or you have a friend who tells the best jokes. Or when you see beautiful flowers blooming in the spring, or you see a rainbow, does your smile come naturally? Fill your mind with positive emotions and allow your smile to follow.

I’ve heard people say, “I’m grieving. I don’t have anything to smile about.” Chances are that person would have something they could smile about it they allowed it. When you see a baby or your child smiling or laughing, responding with a smile is natural. You would have to fight it to not smile, so just let go. There is nothing wrong with smiling while you are grieving.

When you smile, your brightness shines, and that will bring the beautiful light to those around you.  So, be the light and your smile will be reflected!

 

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

Grief and Happiness Handbook

Grief and Happiness Cards

Grief and Happiness weekly Free Gatherings

[email protected]

Dream Builder Life Coach

Life Master Consultantant

 

Let’s Go to the Movies

by Leave a Comment

On an interview about her new movie, Sally Field was talking about how it was to work with an Octopus. Then she mentioned that the plot was about a widow dealing with grief, so I decided to watch Remarkably Bright Creatures, and I am so glad I did. The movie is beautifully done, and I was in love with Marcellis, the octopus, by the end. The movie is fresh and beautiful and allows you to feel for both the widow and for Marcellis.

It seems that most movies and television series have grief intertwined either in the main plot or in subplots. Many times, watching about someone else’s loss or sadness allow your tears to flow which can be a welcome release while you are grieving. Has that happened to you? Think about shows you have seen that have grief as the plot or subplot. Here are a few movies, some oldies and some new, to consider:

Steel Magnolias

The Whale

Collateral Beauty

The Descendants

The Big Chill

Ordinary People

Our Souls at Night

Titanic

A Star is Born

Marly and Me

Terms of Endearment

Beaches

Life is Beautiful

The Notebook

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Lion

Moonlight

E T

Toy Story 2

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Sophie’s Choice

Old Yeller

Million Dollar Baby

The Color Purple

Pieces of a Woman

The Farewell

Drive My Car

Monster

If Beale Street Could Talk

Up

Bambi

The Lion King

Frozen

Coco

Lilo and Stich

How many of these have you watched? What kinds of emotions did you feel?  Did it feel like it helped you?  What television shows have you watched that were about grief in some way? I’d love to see your comments about this?

Be sure to watch Remarkably Bright Creatures. Click here for a short preview.

Believe

by

Did you know that there is so much you can do if you believe you can? So many times, we can sabotage the dreams we have by not believing in ourselves. This often happens while we are grieving because it may feel like our world is falling apart because nothing is the same. The good news is that you can change your situation when you believe you can.

This morning a dear friend told me that she decided she needed a bigger house. On the day she decided, she ran into a friend who had a bigger house to rent, so she easily found exactly what she needed. I’ve done that too. My husband and I bought three houses in the time we were together. For each one, we wrote a list of exactly what we wanted in detail, and within a week each time, we found exactly what we needed at a price we could afford. For two of those houses, we even made a huge profit on the sale of the house we had been living in.

Your belief can make things happen, but what you want won’t just fall into your lap. Your actions and words must be in alignment to ensure the outcome you desire. Let’s say you want to be an artist. First you must decide what kind of artist you want to be. Then you must learn how to master that technique. Then you must discover how to display your work so your intended audience can see it. Nothing is so simple as just saying you want something.

After my husband died, I had a friend who was persistent in asking me if I was dating, and I always said no. Finally, I thought there must be a reason she was doing this. I was hesitant because my husband who died was so wonderful, I didn’t think it was possible to find anyone else I would want to be with. To prove that to myself, I made a list of all the traits and accomplishments anybody I would go out with must have. The list was long and detailed. I finally went on Match.com, and I was right. Just about every person did not fill many items on my list, but one did. I was shocked as I checked off every item on my list, and he even had more items that were wonderful. I was so glad that I stopped being stubborn and allowed myself to find my new husband.

How would you design the life you want to live? What makes you feel good and happy? Take some time to explore in writing what, where, and how you want to be. Use specific details. As I sit on my lanai enjoying a cool breeze, the many bird songs, and the view of two sides on the island of Maui, I am grateful to believe in myself which allowed me to create the miraculous life I love.

 

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

Grief and Happiness Handbook

Grief and Happiness weekly Free Gatherings

[email protected]

Dream Builder Life Coach

Life Master Consultant

Happiness — Pass it On!

by

Today there seems to be lots of bad or negative news circulating.

Here is some good news for you to brighten your day!

  1. I get lots of very tasty apple bananas from my trees. What fresh fruit are you enjoying?
  2. My friend Michael Reed just published a book, The Owl and the Ladybug, a gentle, beautifully illustrated story created to help children begin making sense of grief, sadness, or loss in a way that feels safe, calm, and reassuring. I am happy to see this special book is available to help 4- to 10-year-olds. What’s the best, positive book you have read recently?
  3. I just went with friends to see an excellent production of the play The Revolutionists at the Maui Academy of Performing Arts. I loved being able to see a production so beautifully done. What is something you have done lately that you really enjoyed?

Join me in spreading some joy!

  1. Email the answers to my questions to me to bring me some happiness! emilyemail
  2. Write a list of three items of good news you are enjoying today. Send your list to at least three of your friends. I’d love to be one of them!
  3. In your journaling every day, write 3 things that make you happy.

Before you share something negative with your friends, stop and think of something beautiful or positive you could share instead.

Let’s start a Happiness Revolution together! Let’s see how many smiles we can inspire!

An Affair?

by

I heard the other day someone say you should have an affair with yourself, and I smiled. What a good idea!  The most important person for you to love is yourself. Sometimes we forget that when a loved one dies. We may say something like a part of you is missing. I understand that idea, but it isn’t the truth. The truth is you are whole just the way you are.

When I chose what to wear, I find myself thinking of things like “Mom loved that color,” “Jacques was so amazed that I could sew beautiful clothes for myself,” or “Ron bought me that sweater and I always think of him when I wear it.” These types of memories don’t keep us stuck in the past, but they can make us smile, and you are always more beautiful with a smile on your face.

When you want a snack, treat yourself to some fresh cherries or watermelon instead of a bag of chips. When you want a drink, treat yourself to a new tea flavor, hot or iced instead of a cup of wine. When you want to go out, find some friends to go with you and try something new like learning how to paint, playing pickleball, or trying a new food truck.

You can choose to be happy maybe one step at a time. The more steps you take, the weight of your grief can start falling away. You can always keep your loved one in your heart, and you can also expand your happiness at the same time.

Take yourself on a date this week!

have an affair with yourself, you will remember that you are whole, perfect, complete, and beautiful. You will also choose to treat yourself the very best by taking special, tender care of your physical self. You will eat wisely and well, and you’ll always bathe and brush your teeth. You will dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself. I say all this because so many people who are grieving let things go. Just getting out of bed sometimes may feel impossible, but you can do it.

 

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

Grief and Happiness Handbook

Grief and Happiness Cards

Grief and Happiness weekly Free Gatherings

[email protected]

Dream Builder Life Coach

Life Master Consultant

To Be

by

We all probably have some form of a to do list. I have an app on my phone so that I can be sure to get everything done.  I’ve developed so many sub-lists to the main list that it’s probably impossible to get everything done that I have written there, but I sure would like to!

Where do you store your “To DO” list? I have tried thinking “I’ll remember that” when something comes up that is important for me to complete, yet often I don’t remember it beyond that initial thought. I can easily slide into frustration thinking I will never get all those things on my list done.

I am trying something different now inspired by William Shaksepeare’s Hamlet who said “To be, or not to be. That is the question.”  I am not contemplating suicide like Hamlet was in the speech, but I do like the concept of “To be.”  I now add moments of “being” into my daily schedule. I’ll sit on my lanai and listen to the birds and enjoy the flowers. I’ll take a walk in my neighborhood or at the beach. I’ll call or write a friend, or I may even get out my watercolor’s and paint a picture just for fun.

“Being” is an essential part of life. When we spend every waking minute occupied by chores, errands, our jobs, or other things people expect of us or we expect of ourselves, we end up with no time for us to look up and notice a rainbow, do a little dance in the kitchen when a favorite song comes on the radio, or to step outside and take a deep breath of fresh air.

My mentor Mary Morrissey says to “Notice what you are noticing.” When you do that, you can take advantage of life’s little bonuses like getting to pick a fresh juicy orange off the tree and eat it with the juice dripping down from your hands. Or enjoy the many colors in the autumn leaves as they fall.

Take some time today day, actually, take some time every day to just be, just breathe, just enjoy. Notice all the love and beauty your get to experience.

 

Grief and Happiness website

[email protected]

Listen to Grief and Happiness podcast wherever you get your podcasts