Grieving can be lonely especially when we hold every feeling deep inside ourselves which is most common. Often, we feel we don’t have anyone to talk to, especially anyone who would want to hear about our feelings. Not dealing with our feelings can cause them to grow and fester and be even harder to handle. So, what should you do? The answer is “Something”!
The first step to take is to get out a journal or even a piece of paper and make a list. Each item on a list is a different feeling that you are experiencing related to your grief, such as:
- I’m afraid I will cry if I try to talk to someone.
- Nobody cares about what I am going through.
- No-one else I know has had a child die, or a husband, or a mother, or a friend so they won’t understand.
- Nobody else could possibly feel as bad as I do.
Think about how you feel when you read each of these statements. Do you relate to any of them? Choose one of the items from your list and write all about it. For instance:
- Let’s say you write, “I’m afraid I will cry if I try to talk to someone.”
Think about that statement. If you were talking to a friend of yours who was grieving, and that person started to cry, would you be surprised? I doubt it. Chances are you would hand them a Kleenex or give them a hug and wait for the tears to stop. People cry when they are grieving. Don’t worry if you do.
This simple technique applied to any of the feelings you are dealing with will demonstrate to you that your feelings are valid, but they don’t need to cause you to isolate yourself. You may be surprised at how supportive a friend can be. The key is to recognize that is what is happening and allow yourself to shift direction to a positive frame of mind. You can do this! You are stronger than you think.
Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief
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