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Self-Care

Dream

June 18, 2026 by Emily Thiroux Leave a Comment

Dreams that come while sleeping come in an unlimited variety. They can be from memories, from desires, from sadness, from joy, or from and entirely unknown source. They range from terrifying to incredible happiness. While they can affect our lives in some ways, the more powerful dreams that we have come from while we are awake.

In the daylight we can actively dream about whatever we want to. We can create in our mind the life we would love to live, then go on to create that life. I dreamed when I was in college that I would be a writer. I planted that seed when I was in a writing class.  At the time, I didn’t judge that dream, and I didn’t dwell on it, but it remained in my mind occasionally reminding me to write a bit about something.

Ironically, before I did much writing, I was hired to teach a writing class at the community college. I learned much about writing, and about what not to write, by grading endless writing assignments. And I stared writing more myself. I’d dream in my journal about what I would love to do and how I loved to do whatever that was, and it frequently changed. And I loved teaching writing so much that I was hired to teach writing at a university.

One dream came true in an unexpected way. I had a representative of Prentice Hall Publishing drop by my office one day to convince me to order a book he was selling for my class. I told him he didn’t have anything I wanted. Startled, he said “What do you want?” I described to him how I was frequently the only person who was not from a different country or different culture.  All the books he offered were by old, white men. My students needed writing examples from a variety of people. He said “That’s just what we’ve be looking for! Will you write it for us?” I said yes, and my textbook writing career began.

That little seed I’d planted years before had started to grow without me even realizing it. I’ve gone on to write 5 more books after that, taught writing at a university for 30 years, and now I encourage people to write through their grief to bring them comfort and realize happiness.

What dreams have you dreamed that have come true? What dreams are you dreaming about now? Whatever your dreams are, write them in your journal and maybe even tell a friend. The more you focus on a dream, the more likely it is to come true. There is no limit to what to dream about. Just dream.

Dream bigger than you can ever imagine.

 

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

Grief and Happiness Handbook

Grief and Happiness Cards

Grief and Happiness weekly Free Gatherings

[email protected]

Dream Builder Life Coach

Life Master Consultantant

Filed Under: Change, Creativity, Grief, journaling, Loss, Self-Care, Support Tagged With: change, grief, grieving, happiness, healthy coping mechanisms, how to deal with grief, reclaiming your joy, self-care, support

Vagueness

June 12, 2026 by Emily Thiroux Leave a Comment

We’ve all heard “Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,” but I heard “Whatever happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness,” and that made me think.  Am I living in vagueness?  In early grief I certainly was.

I remember that even though I live on Maui with radiant tropical flowers and spectacular sunsets, everything seemed grey and lifeless. What had been my favorite foods had little taste.  When people talked around me, their words seemed to run together and not related to anything in particular. I sometimes turned the television on just for background noise, and that’s all it was: noise.

After a while, I started realizing that not paying attention to the world and beauty wasn’t serving me, and that I was the only one who could do something about that. I started going on walks, just around the neighborhood.  I made it my goal to discover something I had not seen before every time I went out. I would take time with that. I smelled the fresh fragrances and took pictures on my phone of the vibrant colors.

I also started eating different foods like the tropical fruits at the Farmer’s Market. I played different music genres and found a wide variety of music I enjoyed that I was surprised by. As time passed, I found myself talking to different people than I had known before and contacting old friends too.

As I acclimated to my now solo life, I saw that it was more lovely than I thought it would be.  The color returned as the vagueness floated away. The color came back to my cheeks and I even started smiling. Grief takes time, but with patience, we can move back out into the sunlight.

Are you living in vagueness, or you ready to smell the flowers?

 

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

Grief and Happiness Handbook

Grief and Happiness Cards

Grief and Happiness weekly Free Gatherings

[email protected]

Dream Builder Life Coach

Life Master Consultantant

Filed Under: Change, Grief, Self-Care, Support Tagged With: change, grief, grieving, healthy coping mechanisms, how to deal with grief, self-care, support

Be The Light

June 4, 2026 by Emily Thiroux

We tend to be influenced by the people around us.  When someone is in a bad mood, do you feel that affecting you? Or when your companions are laughing and smiling, do you smile along? When I worked in the Emergency Room at the hospital, when I had to give someone sad news and they cried, I cried right along with them. That’s pretty normal behavior to act like those around you.

When I realized that even though I was grieving, I still could be happy, I discovered how important smiling is to me. While I was pretty good at smiling along with others, smiling on my own turned from a challenge to a pleasure. The best thing about that is when people smile along with me.

If you tend to be negative or if smiling on your own is hard for you to do, try seeking out joy. Where can you find it? Maybe there is a tv show that makes you laugh out loud, or you have a friend who tells the best jokes. Or when you see beautiful flowers blooming in the spring, or you see a rainbow, does your smile come naturally? Fill your mind with positive emotions and allow your smile to follow.

I’ve heard people say, “I’m grieving. I don’t have anything to smile about.” Chances are that person would have something they could smile about it they allowed it. When you see a baby or your child smiling or laughing, responding with a smile is natural. You would have to fight it to not smile, so just let go. There is nothing wrong with smiling while you are grieving.

When you smile, your brightness shines, and that will bring the beautiful light to those around you.  So, be the light and your smile will be reflected!

 

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

Grief and Happiness Handbook

Grief and Happiness Cards

Grief and Happiness weekly Free Gatherings

[email protected]

Dream Builder Life Coach

Life Master Consultantant

 

Filed Under: Change, Community, Gratitude, Grief, Happiness, Joy, Self-Care, Smile, Support Tagged With: grieving, happiness, healthy coping mechanisms, how to deal with grief, Joy, self-care, support

Let’s Go to the Movies

May 28, 2026 by Emily Thiroux

On an interview about her new movie, Sally Field was talking about how it was to work with an Octopus. Then she mentioned that the plot was about a widow dealing with grief, so I decided to watch Remarkably Bright Creatures, and I am so glad I did. The movie is beautifully done, and I was in love with Marcellis, the octopus, by the end. The movie is fresh and beautiful and allows you to feel for both the widow and for Marcellis.

It seems that most movies and television series have grief intertwined either in the main plot or in subplots. Many times, watching about someone else’s loss or sadness allow your tears to flow which can be a welcome release while you are grieving. Has that happened to you? Think about shows you have seen that have grief as the plot or subplot. Here are a few movies, some oldies and some new, to consider:

Steel Magnolias

The Whale

Collateral Beauty

The Descendants

The Big Chill

Ordinary People

Our Souls at Night

Titanic

A Star is Born

Marly and Me

Terms of Endearment

Beaches

Life is Beautiful

The Notebook

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Lion

Moonlight

E T

Toy Story 2

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Sophie’s Choice

Old Yeller

Million Dollar Baby

The Color Purple

Pieces of a Woman

The Farewell

Drive My Car

Monster

If Beale Street Could Talk

Up

Bambi

The Lion King

Frozen

Coco

Lilo and Stich

How many of these have you watched? What kinds of emotions did you feel?  Did it feel like it helped you?  What television shows have you watched that were about grief in some way? I’d love to see your comments about this?

Be sure to watch Remarkably Bright Creatures. Click here for a short preview.

Filed Under: Change, Community, Grief, Joy, Self-Care, Support Tagged With: bereavement gifts, change, friends, grief, grieving, healthy coping mechanisms, how to deal with grief, Joy, reclaiming your joy, self-care, support

Inside Out

May 21, 2026 by Emily Thiroux

Grieving can be lonely especially when we hold every feeling deep inside ourselves which is most common. Often, we feel we don’t have anyone to talk to, especially anyone who would want to hear about our feelings. Not dealing with our feelings can cause them to grow and fester and be even harder to handle. So, what should you do? The answer is “Something”!

The first step to take is to get out a journal or even a piece of paper and make a list. Each item on a list is a different feeling that you are experiencing related to your grief, such as:

  • I’m afraid I will cry if I try to talk to someone.
  • Nobody cares about what I am going through.
  • No-one else I know has had a child die, or a husband, or a mother, or a friend so they won’t understand.
  • Nobody else could possibly feel as bad as I do.

Think about how you feel when you read each of these statements. Do you relate to any of them? Choose one of the items from your list and write all about it.  For instance:

  • Let’s say you write, “I’m afraid I will cry if I try to talk to someone.”

Think about that statement. If you were talking to a friend of yours who was grieving, and that person started to cry, would you be surprised? I doubt it. Chances are you would hand them a Kleenex or give them a hug and wait for the tears to stop. People cry when they are grieving. Don’t worry if you do.

This simple technique applied to any of the feelings you are dealing with will demonstrate to you that your feelings are valid, but they don’t need to cause you to isolate yourself. You may be surprised at how supportive a friend can be.  The key is to recognize that is what is happening and allow yourself to shift direction to a positive frame of mind. You can do this! You are stronger than you think.

 

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

Grief and Happiness Handbook

Grief and Happiness Cards

Grief and Happiness weekly Free Gatherings

[email protected]

Dream Builder Life Coach

Life Master Consultantant

Filed Under: Change, Grief, Self-Care, Support Tagged With: grief, grieving, how to deal with grief, reclaiming your joy, self-care, support, writing through grief

You Can Make Decisions

May 15, 2026 by Emily Thiroux

Do you ever have trouble making up your mind? Maybe you’re not sure which ice cream flavor to choose. Or maybe you don’t know if you want to play pickleball today. Or you don’t know who to vote for. When the fog rolls over your decision-making process, you have trouble giving a simple answer, and this just leads to frustration for you as well as the person you are talking to. This situation often occurs to someone who is grieving.

I went through a time where I simply could not give yes or no answers. The questions didn’t seem important enough for me to think about. My loved one died. Nothing else mattered — except it did.

When the time comes when you do have to decide on something, be easy on yourself. Don’t rush.  Find and weigh the pros and cons of a potential answer, then make your decision mindfully. You may be saying, “I know all this.” And maybe your do, but don’t fool yourself. Just do the best you can at the time.

There will come a time when the fog lifts and you can see clearly. Look forward to this and know that it is coming your way. One day you will realize that you have stepped up out of the fog. Cherish this discovery knowing you are making progress in working through your grief. Every day can be brighter than the last one when you focus on the peace and light ahead of you, and you make clear solid decisions on the way.

Enjoy your journey!

 

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

Grief and Happiness Handbook

Grief and Happiness Cards

Grief and Happiness weekly Free Gatherings

[email protected]

Dream Builder Life Coach

Life Master Consultantant

Filed Under: Change, Intentions, journaling, Self-Care, Support Tagged With: healthy coping mechanisms, self-care, support, writing through grief

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