Gratitude

Cultivating Joy

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Most of us don’t feel happy all the time, but it is possible. In early grief, we are likely to have feelings like sadness, loneliness, and hopelessness. While that’s not unusual, staying weighed down with these feelings is not in your best interest. The best way to deal with this is to practice good self-care.  Writing about what you are feeling can help you discover how to move forward.

When sadness is getting you down, write a list of things that make you happy. Keep adding to the list when things come to mind.  On your happiness list, include anything that makes you smile or feel good. Include things like:

  • Bake your favorite cookies and share them with a friend.
  • Plant some new flowers in your garden or get a new house plant.
  • Sit outside in the sunshine.
  • Go for a walk in a beautiful place.
  • Find a class to take about something you always wanted to learn.

If you are feeling lonely, discover someplace to go where you will meet new friends. Here are some ideas:

  • Go to a class like water aerobics, yoga, painting, or ceramics.
  • Join a book club that reads the kind of books you enjoy.
  • Create a lunch or dinner group that meets regularly where you go out to eat with your friends or take turns entertaining your friends for lunch or dinner at your homes.
  • Find a nonprofit organization you are interested in and volunteer.
  • Invite a friend or friends to join you in going to a play, a concert, or an art gallery.

If you are feeling hopeless, try some of these ideas:

  • Find a support group you can attend.
  • Write about your life in your journal exploring how you would like to change your life and what you can do to make that happen.
  • Read inspirational books about people you admire or things you’d like to do.
  • Meditate considering what you do or can do that brings you hope.
  • Focus on self-love.

You can have joy in your life when you make it a priority. The key is to take action as opposed to waiting for joy to fall into your lap. There is an old Johnny Mathis song that says, “Life is what you make it, and what you make it, is up to you.” Since it’s up to you, what will you do now to live your best life?

 

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

My email is [email protected]

Let me know if you’d like to receive my newsletters which have lots of good things!

You can listen to my Grief and Happiness podcast here or anyplace you listen to podcasts.

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

 

 

Morning Bliss

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I learned about Morning Bliss from singer, songwriter Karen Drucker, and I’m hooked. I am a journal writer and have written in my journal first thing in the morning before I do anything else for years, but this is more!

First, if you are not journaling, this is a great time to start. Here are a few things you can include. I start with gratitude always for having another day to experience.  Then write what’s on your heart. What concerns you today? What will you focus on?

Next, write your intention for the day starting with the words: “I am.” My intention for today is: “I am open, honest, and happy.” Remember that writing an intention is not writing a to-do list. Rather, it is a statement of who your really are. And you can change your intention every day.

Be sure to write at least three things you are grateful for. Be specific. Writing out your gratitude reminds you of what is great about your life. I always follow gratitude with something that brought me joy from the day before. I love this daily reminder of the joy I get to experience every day.

Now, to get you started with a positive boost, write a letter to yourself and include who you really are. Then make a vow to yourself. In my letter I vowed to put myself first and to treat me the best from now on! You don’t need to write a letter every day, but do write one when you can use a boost!

When I finish writing, I do a little dance. This brings me energy. I pick an upbeat song and play it on my phone and dance along. Do all your favorite moves. I keep a set of hand weights in my bedroom so I can use them as I dance.  This wakes me up, gives me energy, and gets me started for the day.

Then do your morning routine of getting ready for the day with all the usual things. And consciously choose the clothes you will wear for the day to suit your mood. Then eat something healthy that will serve your energy.

Doing your Morning Bliss every day makes each day brighter! Enjoy!

 

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

My email is [email protected]

Let me know if you’d like to receive my newsletters which have lots of good things!

You can listen to my Grief and Happiness podcast here or anyplace you listen to podcasts.

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

What’s Good About Today?

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I have heard so many people say that they don’t know how to live without the loved one they are grieving. I remember feeling that way too. And though the territory is unfamiliar, we find that we have no choice but to step into it once our loved ones die. The harder we fight moving forward, the more miserable we can become. I am sure that deep down you don’t want to be miserable, and I am pretty sure your loved one wouldn’t want that for you either.

I talked to the father of a young man who had just graduated from college and was ready to start his new life. Instead, his son was diagnosed with a terminal illness, and he didn’t have long to live. His devastated friends and family would come to visit him with tears in their eyes, and he would accept their loving wishes and then smile and ask them, “What’s good about today?” This would bring their conversation to the present, and they could enjoy the time they got to spend together. As the visitors left the hospital room, everyone was smiling.

Beautiful memories were created during those visits. Instead of heavy, sorrow filled memories, they could remember the smiles and laughter they shared the last time they spent with this special person. And the young man’s last memories were of smiling, happy people.

When dealing with your grief, try focusing on your loved one in a happy way. Try writing in your journal or visiting with a loved one. Share your memories. When did you see your loved one the happiest? When he was acting in a play? When you volunteered together to clean up the park? When you both went with your friends on a hike in the mountains?  When you watched him graduate or get an award? You will find yourself smiling as you reflect on these happy memories.

I’ll bet if he could send you a message right now, he’d say: “I love to see you smiling! Keep living your best life. What’s good about today?”

 

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

My email is [email protected]

Let me know if you’d like to receive my newsletters which have lots of good things!

You can listen to my Grief and Happiness podcast here or anyplace you listen to podcasts.

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

Do What You Love

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Would you love to be happy? Would you love to feel really good? You can! I have the secret!

In life, your best feelings are related to love, and it doesn’t have to be romantic. I love to eat coffee flavored Haagen Dazs ice cream.  It makes me happy, as does Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. I also love to do ceramic sculpture, or paint watercolors, or bake apple pie. I also love to go to concerts, to dance, or walk on the beach. I love to visit with friends. I love to travel. And I love to take a class to learn something new. All these things and much more are all things I love, and when I am doing things I love, I feel love, and that feels really good.

Since feeling love makes me happy, I can bring happiness into my life whenever I want to, and you can too! Start by getting out your journal. Make a list of everything you love. See how long you can make the list. The more you write, the more you will smile. Maybe you love looking at your children’s baby pictures. Or maybe you love walking your dog and talking to all your neighbors on the way.

There now, don’t you feel better? I’ve been smiling the whole time I have been writing this!

 

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

My email is [email protected]

Let me know if you’d like to receive my newsletters which have lots of good things!

You can listen to my Grief and Happiness podcast here or anyplace you listen to podcasts.

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

Mother’s Day

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Mother’s Day can be a beautiful, magical day, or it can also be sad or hearbreaking.  Or, it could be a combination of both happy and sad. How is your Mother’s Day going to be this year?

Mother’s day was originated by Anna Jarvis in West Virginia in 1908 to honor her mother, Anna Reeves Jarvis who had 8 out of 12 children die. They both volunteered to provide medicine for needy families at a time when Tuberculosis was an issue. 

I always miss my mom on Mother’s Day. She died 30 years ago. Mom always made her famous potato salad for celebrations, so I like to make potato salad.  My family always comments on how they love Grandma’s potato salad, and that helps me remember her fondly. Over the last few years, I have started writing her letters in my journal. I write to her as I would if we were having a conversation, and sometimes I write back to me from her. I love how this makes me feel.

You may know a mother who’s family will not be around to celebrate. Include them in your celebration, take them some flowers from your yard, or bake them some cookies. Maybe you know someone who has been a mother figure to you. If you do, write her a letter thanking her for what she means to you, and maybe take her some cookies or flowers.

 This year, think of someone who could use some love and support for Mother’s day and celebrate them in some way. I’d love to hear about your ideas or ways that you celebrate Mother’s Day!

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

My email is [email protected]

Let me know if you’d like to receive my newsletters which have lots of good things!

You can listen to my podcast here.

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

 

If Only

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Have you experienced times when the things you desired felt beyond your reach? You may have said something like “if only I had enough money to pay all my bills”, or “if only I could get the job I wanted,” or “if only he (or she) hadn’t died.” Do these thoughts help you? Probably not.

When grieving, we are dealing with the death of a loved one, or any kind of deep loss, we can feel out of balance, like nothing is quite right. That happens because you are in unfamiliar territory, so you are searching for someone or something to fill in the gaps. However, someone or something else will never take the place of what is now missing.

The good news is you do not have to fill that gap. Things won’t automatically change to become the way they were before, so the best you can do now is to stop trying to make that happen. When you release the idea of the possibility that you can go back in time and make things different, that will allow you to start living in the moment now.

Try setting an intention to live the life you truly desire now. For instance, your intention could be “I spend my time doing what I love to do.” This intention leaves you open to new possibilities. For instance, maybe you love horses, but you feel you don’t have time to enjoy being with a horse and tending to it. In setting the intention to do what you love to do, you discover a course in equine therapy. Taking that course allows you to change your career, pay for your horse related expenses as well as have more money to live on than you do now, and spend lots of time with your horse while helping people in such a positive way.

Where do your interests lie? What would you love to do every day? Where would you love to do that? I created my own podcast where I can work from home, and I get to talk to people from all over the world. Maybe you could take classes you have always wanted to. Or maybe you could travel, or maybe you could volunteer for a local nonprofit.

Now is the time to immerse yourself in something you would love to do. Focus on that and soon you can notice yourself moving forward in your grief.

I’d love to hear about what you pursue.

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

My email is [email protected]

Let me know if you’d like to receive my newsletters which have lots of good things!

You can listen to my podcast here.

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.