Joy

Take a Ride

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As a child, on Sunday afternoon my parents and I would often go for a ride in the car. We lived in a small farming town where there wasn’t much to do, so these rides were a very special treat. I sat in the back seat gazing out the window at the beauty of nature. The car didn’t have a radio so we would all sing together the same songs every time: A Bicycle Built for Two, California Here I Come, The Old Rugged Cross, and more.

I got quite an education from watching flood waters, remnants of fires, a dam being built, fragrant orange blossoms, and miles of fields growing cotton.

My favorite was going out in the spring to see all the wildflowers. Mom knew the names of every one of them. Sometimes we’d stop so we could get outside to see them up close. My favorites were the vast acreage of bright orange poppies especially when they had deep bluish purple lupine mixed in. That’s still my favorite color combination.

Recently I had to get a ride from a friend to an appointment. The weather was strange that day with light gray clouds high up in the sky providing an umbrella for the whole island of Maui. Under the clouds was crystal clear making everything seem bright and beautiful.

I had been on the road on the side of Haleakala volcano many times before, but this is the first time I saw it when I wasn’t driving. I was astounded by the beauty of the view of the valley between both sides of the island. It was easy to see the island of Lanai and the tops of the west Maui mountains both of which are usually covered with clouds.

The tropical flowers were stunning and so big. The colors were vibrant. Even the weeds were gorgeous displaying their own blossoms. And I spotted a contented goat standing by the road munching on those pretty weeds! I was so refreshed by the time I got home.

Those of us grieving often find it easy to hibernate, staying inside our homes with the curtains closed. This environment can become stuffy and colorless. If you start feeling this way, try getting outside. Jump into your car and drive someplace unfamiliar and beautiful. Take time to stop and experience fresh air and fragrant flowers. Stretch and maybe even take a walk. Look at everything with new eyes enjoying all you discover. Try taking some pictures or doing some sketches. Just relax and allow yourself to be immersed in the natural beauty.

You will find the more often you do this, the better you will feel. Take good care of your precious self.

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here. https://a.co/d/eWNx3j1

You can sign up for our newsletter here

Who Loves You?

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When your loved one dies or you are experiencing a big loss of another kind, the biggest thing you will probably deal with is a loss of love. While your love doesn’t go away with a loss, it’s just not the same. Love is the most precious emotion we get to experience so the absence of the experience of being with your loved one can be devastating. You can, however, deal with this loss in a positive way that can support you through your loss.

Self-love is essential always, yet this is especially so at stressful times. The good news is that you always have access to the most significant kind of love you will ever have because that’s self-love. In early grief even the idea of self-love seemed odd to me. How could that help me? How could I provide comfort for myself? The answer is easier than you would think.

The first thing you can do is make a list. I love lists for everything. On this list, write everything you love about yourself.  Take your time with this, and as you think of more items for your list, add them.  Just start writing and see what comes up. Aim for at least 100 things! You can do this!

On my list, items vary from how strong my fingernails have finally become, to how much I enjoy holding babies or watching puppies play. Maybe you love your smile or how you have your mother’s nose. Consider how passionate you are about things like fixing dinner for friends or taking flowers from your garden to shut-ins. Include all those good things about you that everyone else might not know.

Your list will grow and grow as you consider how wonderful you are. Your next step can be writing a letter to yourself describing in depth the wonders of you. What would you like to be remembered for? What do you consider your legacy to be? What are you passing down to future generations? After you write this letter, put it someplace special so you can get it out to read when you could use some support.

One more thing you can do is a self-love workout. Each morning when you look in the mirror, give yourself a pep talk to start your day. Include things like, “You are so beautiful today. I love your smile. Your hair looks so pretty today. I love the glow on your face when I see you are happy. I am amazed at your kindness and generosity. Thank you for reminding me of the importance of forgiveness.” I am sure you can go on and on. Say this all out loud as you gaze at your beautiful self.

Before you go on about your day, be sure to say, “Good morning beautiful. I love you more than you can imagine!”

Say it every day!

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

You can sign up for our newsletter here

Choose!

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When I woke up this morning, I was so inspired! It felt wonderful. While I was still in bed, I opened my eyes and looked at the clock and it was 11:11. Oh no! I had slept half the day. I needed to get up right away. Then I actually opened my eyes and realized that was a dream and it was 6:30, closer to my usual time to wake. “Whew.” I took a deep breath to release the panic, and started my morning with the fresh energy that came from being startled.

As I started to write in my journal, I realized all that was a wink from my dear departed husband, Ron. January 1, 2011, or 1 1 11, was the day we got married. That clock in my dream was from him. I laughed and could just see his great big smile. This inspiration led me to plan a great day, starting with getting dressed in clothes I could wear outside.  I’ve been hibernating for a while, but today I chose to dress for walking.  The sun is shining, and I am ready!

I recently had the opportunity to see singer, songwriter Karen Drucker give a talk. She was bubbling with energy and smiles. She said, “Today choose to be grateful, happy, peaceful, loving, joyful, and mindful.” That’s a lot! And it sounds like a perfect day to me.

Thanks, Karen, for that inspiration. I am writing it in my journal to remind me to choose all this every day!

I have a big talk coming up at a conference in Las Vegas. I’ve been working on it for a while, and today with all that fresh energy, the entire concept for what I will say poured out of me. I could see myself on that stage, smiling and engaging the audience so they were entranced with my message. That all came to me because I chose today to be positive, to pay attention to inspiration, to enjoy my day, and to be creative.

I hope today will be fabulous for you, too! Follow Karen’s advice and see what happens! This blog is a little shorter than usual today because I have a walk to go on!  Bye! See you later!

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

You can sign up for our newsletter here

Growing and Moving Forward

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A group of friends from all over the country gathered online in the Summer of 2021 to explore the concept of grieving and being happy at the same time. Over the course of several meetings, we were convinced that was not only a concept, but it is also the truth.

Before we started this conversation, I had been facilitating a writing through grief group. We loved doing this, but I felt something was missing. As I completed Marci Shimoff’s Happy For No Reason Certified Trainer Program, I realized Happiness is exactly what I wanted to include for the people coming to me for comfort.

This group brought the inspiration we loved, and we loved the idea so much, we brought it into action with our creativity. And this group was inspired to also create a nonprofit organization to fund all of this so anyone who wants to can come to our gatherings and find comfort, support, love, and happiness.

Since the summer of 2021, we have accomplished much by doing things like creating  online events for people to come together and discover ways for them to find happiness, creating a movie club, where we come together to discuss movies we choose that feature grief, happiness, or both. We also co-hosted the international summit From Mourning to Light to offer inspiration to people showing them that they can grieve and be happy at the same time. We created a Grief and Happiness Facilitator training program.  And we published the Grief and Happiness Handbook and the Grief and Happiness Cards, with all profit going to the foundation we created.

Whew! That’s a lot! And there is much more we plan to do. The thing is, as we grow in all we do, we are serving more people. And that’s where you come in. We see that when people come to our gatherings because a friend , who is already attending the gatherings, invited them to come, are motivated to come and to keep attending. Who can you invite? Holding each other up is comforting and motivating to you both! If you haven’t been attending, now is the time to start! If you are attending, who can you bring with you?

The Grief and Happiness Nonprofit organization is welcoming people who would love this opportunity to serve this community of people who are benefiting from the love and comfort you can provide. Please let us know how you would love to be involved.

Serving you all is the joy of my life. You too will feel much joy, love, and comfort by serving along with us.

 

Click on this link for a list of areas you can choose from or suggest something you would like to do. The list is at the bottom of the page.

You can click on this email link to to offer what you would like to do.

Click here for a printable link of opportunities. 29 Opportunities to Serve the Grief and Happiness Alliance Nonprofit Organization

 

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here. https://a.co/d/eWNx3j1

2023

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A friend told me that she couldn’t wait for 2023 to be over because so many terrible things happened. I found myself making a list of those things. There were so many, and they seem to be multiplying towards the end of the year. Then an oft heard saying came to mind, “What you resist persists.” So, I made the decision to make a list of the beautiful things I remember instead. This is part of my list which could have gone on for pages:

  • New babies were born in my family.
  • I am loving learning to do watercolor painting and making new friends in the process.
  • The company I am part owner of is thriving still after 63 years.
  • Relationships I have are deepening and becoming more precious.
  • I am healthy and strong after dealing with a few challenges this year.
  • I have accepted invitations which lead to beautiful experiences.
  • My new book was published and became a best seller.
  • I published my beautiful Grief and Happiness Cards.
  • Maui has become green again after a long period of brown.
  • The Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings are growing and bring happiness to those who attend.
  • My podcast has more than 12,000 downloads and attendance is growing.
  • I helped co-create a new facilitator training program for the Grief and Happiness Alliance.
  • Dear friends came to visit me in Maui.
  • My vegetable garden is thriving.
  • I am loving teaching journaling classes.
  • I provided shelter to evacuees from the wildfires on Maui.
  • I learned how to cook Chinese food that I love.
  • I have made new friends.
  • I attended a powerful film festival.
  • I have enjoyed many beautiful sunsets and rainbows.
  • I attended a weeklong seminar in caring for the dying which was deep and beautiful.
  • I discovered how wonderful the chocolate from Maui Ku’ia Estate is.
  • I enjoyed going to hear live music.
  • I notice the positivity and smiles in all my experiences.
  • And much more.

While some of the events from this year were tragic, I saw the beauty of people being generous and serving people experiencing unthinkable loss.

I encourage you to make a list of the joy and beauty you experienced in 2023, and focus on that and discover how you can expand it during 2024.

I started writing this inspired by “What you resist persists,” but I have changed my mantra to “What you embrace thrives.” What will you embrace from your experience of 2023?

I wish for you great beauty, comfort, support, love, and happiness in 2024.

 

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here. https://a.co/d/eWNx3j1

Holiday Help

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Dreading the holidays is common while grieving, but this doesn’t have to be the case for you. The length of time that’s passed from when grief started doesn’t matter. My Dad died 34 years ago, and I remember him every Christmas thinking of the Santa outfit I made him because he loved giving presents to the children. The difference is now I smile instead of cry when that memory shows up.

When you are feeling a bit fragile during the holiday season, there are many ways to help you deal with this. Taking advantage of these ideas can brighten your days. Here are some things to consider:

  • Take good care of yourself. Do whatever is right for you. Get plenty of rest. Eat well. Drink lots of water. Go for a walk. Do whatever feels best for you right now.
  • Accept or decline invitations. If you are ready to celebrate, celebrate. If you are not feeling up to being around lots of people, don’t. Or if you are lonely, find the people you would like to be with and schedule something.
  • Pay attention to your grief.  If you need to cry, take time to do that. Consider why the tears are coming at that time, and deal with whatever that is.
  • Write in your journal.  Writing a holiday letter to a loved one who has transitioned can be comforting. Most of us have several letters we could write and each one would be different. You may even experience some form of response to those you write to.
  • Appreciate what you do experience or have. Write a gratitude list that includes things like special memories you have of your loved ones at holiday time. And include things people have done for you to comfort you in your grief.
  • Spend time with people you love. Being with friends and family can be uplifting. If you can’t be present with them, call them or write them.
  • Create new memories. What new traditions can you start? Try going to special events. Or add a different menu for your holiday dinner or breakfast.
  • Ask for help if you need to, or you want support. Reach out to whoever you think would be best for you, maybe a friend, a counselor, a minister.

Focus on the joy you can experience every day. You can do this. I know you can. Allow yourself the ease and grace that allows you to live your best life.

Happy Holidays!

 

Sign up for our free self-paced class: Find Your Holiday Joy! by clicking here.

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here. https://a.co/d/eWNx3j1