Creativity

Holding On

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One thing in life that is for sure is you can’t go back, can’t have a do-over. When dealing with grief for anyone or anything, many of us spend lots of time thinking about the past. We cherish all that was good about our loved ones, and dwell on unpleasant times or things we are sorry about. You may also be feeling regret for plans you had for your future that are no longer possible. This is perfectly normal in early grief, and it has little to do with your life now.

Now, today, and from this day forward, the best thing you can do for yourself is release trying to change your past. Your past is your past. Nothing can be done that can change anything, so dwelling on things that aren’t what you wanted them to be just wastes your time and keeps you stuck. If that seems easier said than done, try this. Choose one thing that bothers you like you didn’t get to move into your dream home together that you had had planned for and worked toward together for years. In your journal, write about that dream home and include all the details you can think of. When you complete that, put it aside.

Now, consider what your life is like and dream in your journal about where you would love to live in your new life now. Include all the details. Maybe in the past you had dreamed of neutral colors like beige, cream, and taupe. In your new home your colors may be lavender and light, warm butter yellow. Maybe you’ve always had a yard that was mostly grass, but you have always wanted an English country garden with tons of different flowers. Maybe you now live in Arizona where your garden would be burned up from the heat, so maybe now is the time to dream of that garden in Northern California where you could also have a wood burning fireplace.

Have fun with this journaling. Try writing about your dream home more than once, maybe moving it to different places where you could enjoy living now more than you would have with your previous dream home. And maybe your dream home is right where you are living now. Try writing about that including everything you’d love about it as well as things you’d like to change. Focus on enjoying the process of examining your life now. Maybe it’s not where you are living you want to focus on. Maybe you need to earn a living, but you are unsatisfied with the career you have had up till now.  Follow this same writing process just changing the subject matter.

The key here is to focus on your now. What can you do now help you move toward your new dream? And what can you do now to live your very best life full of supportive self-care? You can remember what you have learned and loved in your past, and you can dream of what you can learn and love in the future, but put your time and energy on your now. You can make your now wonderful. That’s why they call your now the present.

 

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

Emily Thiroux Threatt email is [email protected]

Let me know if you’d like to receive my newsletters which have lots of good things!

You can listen to my Grief and Happiness podcast here or anyplace you listen to podcasts.

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

 

Morning Bliss

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I learned about Morning Bliss from singer, songwriter Karen Drucker, and I’m hooked. I am a journal writer and have written in my journal first thing in the morning before I do anything else for years, but this is more!

First, if you are not journaling, this is a great time to start. Here are a few things you can include. I start with gratitude always for having another day to experience.  Then write what’s on your heart. What concerns you today? What will you focus on?

Next, write your intention for the day starting with the words: “I am.” My intention for today is: “I am open, honest, and happy.” Remember that writing an intention is not writing a to-do list. Rather, it is a statement of who your really are. And you can change your intention every day.

Be sure to write at least three things you are grateful for. Be specific. Writing out your gratitude reminds you of what is great about your life. I always follow gratitude with something that brought me joy from the day before. I love this daily reminder of the joy I get to experience every day.

Now, to get you started with a positive boost, write a letter to yourself and include who you really are. Then make a vow to yourself. In my letter I vowed to put myself first and to treat me the best from now on! You don’t need to write a letter every day, but do write one when you can use a boost!

When I finish writing, I do a little dance. This brings me energy. I pick an upbeat song and play it on my phone and dance along. Do all your favorite moves. I keep a set of hand weights in my bedroom so I can use them as I dance.  This wakes me up, gives me energy, and gets me started for the day.

Then do your morning routine of getting ready for the day with all the usual things. And consciously choose the clothes you will wear for the day to suit your mood. Then eat something healthy that will serve your energy.

Doing your Morning Bliss every day makes each day brighter! Enjoy!

 

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

My email is [email protected]

Let me know if you’d like to receive my newsletters which have lots of good things!

You can listen to my Grief and Happiness podcast here or anyplace you listen to podcasts.

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

Do What You Love

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Would you love to be happy? Would you love to feel really good? You can! I have the secret!

In life, your best feelings are related to love, and it doesn’t have to be romantic. I love to eat coffee flavored Haagen Dazs ice cream.  It makes me happy, as does Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. I also love to do ceramic sculpture, or paint watercolors, or bake apple pie. I also love to go to concerts, to dance, or walk on the beach. I love to visit with friends. I love to travel. And I love to take a class to learn something new. All these things and much more are all things I love, and when I am doing things I love, I feel love, and that feels really good.

Since feeling love makes me happy, I can bring happiness into my life whenever I want to, and you can too! Start by getting out your journal. Make a list of everything you love. See how long you can make the list. The more you write, the more you will smile. Maybe you love looking at your children’s baby pictures. Or maybe you love walking your dog and talking to all your neighbors on the way.

There now, don’t you feel better? I’ve been smiling the whole time I have been writing this!

 

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

My email is [email protected]

Let me know if you’d like to receive my newsletters which have lots of good things!

You can listen to my Grief and Happiness podcast here or anyplace you listen to podcasts.

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

Mother’s Day

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Mother’s Day can be a beautiful, magical day, or it can also be sad or hearbreaking.  Or, it could be a combination of both happy and sad. How is your Mother’s Day going to be this year?

Mother’s day was originated by Anna Jarvis in West Virginia in 1908 to honor her mother, Anna Reeves Jarvis who had 8 out of 12 children die. They both volunteered to provide medicine for needy families at a time when Tuberculosis was an issue. 

I always miss my mom on Mother’s Day. She died 30 years ago. Mom always made her famous potato salad for celebrations, so I like to make potato salad.  My family always comments on how they love Grandma’s potato salad, and that helps me remember her fondly. Over the last few years, I have started writing her letters in my journal. I write to her as I would if we were having a conversation, and sometimes I write back to me from her. I love how this makes me feel.

You may know a mother who’s family will not be around to celebrate. Include them in your celebration, take them some flowers from your yard, or bake them some cookies. Maybe you know someone who has been a mother figure to you. If you do, write her a letter thanking her for what she means to you, and maybe take her some cookies or flowers.

 This year, think of someone who could use some love and support for Mother’s day and celebrate them in some way. I’d love to hear about your ideas or ways that you celebrate Mother’s Day!

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

My email is [email protected]

Let me know if you’d like to receive my newsletters which have lots of good things!

You can listen to my podcast here.

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

 

If Only

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Have you experienced times when the things you desired felt beyond your reach? You may have said something like “if only I had enough money to pay all my bills”, or “if only I could get the job I wanted,” or “if only he (or she) hadn’t died.” Do these thoughts help you? Probably not.

When grieving, we are dealing with the death of a loved one, or any kind of deep loss, we can feel out of balance, like nothing is quite right. That happens because you are in unfamiliar territory, so you are searching for someone or something to fill in the gaps. However, someone or something else will never take the place of what is now missing.

The good news is you do not have to fill that gap. Things won’t automatically change to become the way they were before, so the best you can do now is to stop trying to make that happen. When you release the idea of the possibility that you can go back in time and make things different, that will allow you to start living in the moment now.

Try setting an intention to live the life you truly desire now. For instance, your intention could be “I spend my time doing what I love to do.” This intention leaves you open to new possibilities. For instance, maybe you love horses, but you feel you don’t have time to enjoy being with a horse and tending to it. In setting the intention to do what you love to do, you discover a course in equine therapy. Taking that course allows you to change your career, pay for your horse related expenses as well as have more money to live on than you do now, and spend lots of time with your horse while helping people in such a positive way.

Where do your interests lie? What would you love to do every day? Where would you love to do that? I created my own podcast where I can work from home, and I get to talk to people from all over the world. Maybe you could take classes you have always wanted to. Or maybe you could travel, or maybe you could volunteer for a local nonprofit.

Now is the time to immerse yourself in something you would love to do. Focus on that and soon you can notice yourself moving forward in your grief.

I’d love to hear about what you pursue.

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

My email is [email protected]

Let me know if you’d like to receive my newsletters which have lots of good things!

You can listen to my podcast here.

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

 

 

Art and Grief

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When I was a child, I spent much time alone. I discovered that if I found ways to keep myself busy, I didn’t feel lonely. I was creating my own happiness. Have you done something like this too? People may resort to isolation while grieving to avoid having to listen to others or even to figure out what to say. If that’s you, spend some time thinking about what you would love to do to engage your mind in something positive, something that would result in a beautiful smile.

I have always loved art and creativity. When I was a child, I didn’t have art supplies except for an occasional box of crayons. I loved those crayons in all the beautiful colors with the magical names. I would quickly fill coloring books then had no place else to color, so I would go outside where I could always find art supplies.

Mud was my favorite.  I could spend hours creating masterpieces by on smooth surfaces I would create on the ground. I would shape cups and bowls to serve at the tea parties I created for my imaginary friends. I even created a fort with a wall that was two feet high. That fort also became a cottage, or a store, or anything else I desired at the moment.

I took my first art class in high school and spent hours painting which led me to set and costume design in the theatre, and I even painted a mural I designed at a hospital. I also designed and made most of my own clothes. Art has always been a part of my life. I love to see it as well as to create it. When I travel, I always seek out the local and historical art of where I go.

After my husband Ron died, I turned to writing which was a passion of mine and an art form itself. While I loved ceramic sculpture and weaving, I craved more and started taking classes. I learned jewelry making, printmaking, and flower arranging. Then I took a drawing class. I had always known that I couldn’t draw, but I was wrong and ! enjoy drawing now. Have you ever felt like this? It can be surprising what might happen if you try something new.

Then I started finding watercolor classes online and discovered that I love that too! After following specific directions to paint mostly flowers, I saw that I wanted to learn more about the art of using watercolors to paint images of what I see rather that copying another artist’s idea of what they see. I found a watercolor fundamentals class taught at the Hui No‘eau Visual Arts Center on Maui taught by Jennifer Roberts Almodova.

I felt an immediate connection with Jennifer and appreciated learning from her the art essentials I was seeking. She taught me the single most important lesson how to paint or create art in general. She said to gather, organize, and set up the materials required, then to sit still, close my eyes, and take three long, deep breaths. She said to open my eyes and simply focus on what I was painting, letting everything else float away.

I loved this peaceful approach which felt like a meditation. Later as I was painting, she came to see how I was doing. I was a bit frustrated and started chattering about what I was doing wrong. I wasn’t looking at her as I spoke but noticed she was silent. When I looked up at her gentle smile, she was breathing slowly. I gazed into her eyes and became quiet, mirroring her slow, deep breaths. My frustration melted, and my creativity returned. Without a word, she taught me the lesson I needed. Still smiling, she moved on to the next student as I felt deeply supported and continued to paint.

All the art that I have seen, created, or enjoyed is experienced through my heart and is a wonderful companion to bolster me through grief and bring me solace. What can you create that will nurture your creativity?

 

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

My email is [email protected]

Let me know if you’d like to receive my newsletters which have lots of good things!

You can listen to my podcast here.

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.