Most of us don’t feel happy all the time, but it is possible. In early grief, we are likely to have feelings like sadness, loneliness, and hopelessness. While that’s not unusual, staying weighed down with these feelings is not in your best interest. The best way to deal with this is to practice good self-care.  Writing about what you are feeling can help you discover how to move forward.

When sadness is getting you down, write a list of things that make you happy. Keep adding to the list when things come to mind.  On your happiness list, include anything that makes you smile or feel good. Include things like:

• Bake your favorite cookies and share them with a friend.
• Plant some new flowers in your garden or get a new house plant.
• Sit outside in the sunshine.
• Go for a walk in a beautiful place.
• Find a class to take about something you always wanted to learn.

If you are feeling lonely, discover someplace to go where you will meet new friends. Here are some ideas:

• Go to a class like water aerobics, yoga, painting, or ceramics.
• Join a book club that reads the kind of books you enjoy.
• Create a lunch or dinner group that meets regularly where you go out to eat with your friends or take turns entertaining your friends for lunch or dinner at your homes.
• Find a nonprofit organization you are interested in and volunteer.
• Invite a friend or friends to join you in going to a play, a concert, or an art gallery.

If you are feeling hopeless, try some of these ideas:

• Find a support group you can attend.
• Write about your life in your journal exploring how you would like to change your life and what you can do to make that happen.
• Read inspirational books about people you admire or things you’d like to do.
• Meditate considering what you do or can do that brings you hope.
• Focus on self-love.

You can have joy in your life when you make it a priority. The key is to take action as opposed to waiting for joy to fall into your lap. There is an old Johnny Mathis song that says, “Life is what you make it, and what you make it, is up to you.” Since it’s up to you, what will you do now to live your best life?

 

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

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