Through the process of grief and the process of life, we often hold ourselves up to the highest standards and goals. While that can be admirable, we often put unrealistic expectations of how fast we will accomplish our desires causing us stress and feelings of defeat or being a failure. That does not serve you.
If this is you, take a deep breath in slowly, then blow it out your lips like through a straw. Do that again. Now don’t you feel better? Do that whenever stress or negativity starts to rise. Now wrap your arms around your shoulders and gently rock yourself a bit, and ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Then listen to yourself. If you need to rest a moment, do that. If you need to do something different, do that. Whatever you choose to do, make it be gentle.
How is your day going right now? When it isn’t going the best way to serve you, change direction. If you are stressing about a big job, break it into smaller components so that it isn’t overwhelming. Finish one step before thinking about the next one. This process melts stress. Also, don’t hold yourself to an overly long to do list. Try making a list of your top three items to do. Only when those tasks are complete, make another list of three. Just three items can be done, so you will have constant moments of success.
Throughout your day, allow yourself to reflect on healing images like your favorite peaceful place, Let that be your background for the day and feel that peace as you move through your day. And have positive music playing in the background like this song by Karen Drucker: Gentle With Myself.
Think about what means the most to you and do what is related to that. Often, we find ourselves doing things we don’t enjoy yet we do them out of habit. For instance, maybe you are in the habit of washing and drying and putting away a load of laundry every day. Try consolidating the laundry so that you do it only once or twice a week. That will save you so much time! What habits that you have can you release? Let them go and notice how much lighter you feel!
Do the same thing with stories you tell yourself. Do you say things to yourself like “I am always unhappy,” or “I never can get things done.” Would either of those statements serve you? Probably not. Then release them. What other habits do you have that are negative or that don’t serve you? When you identify something that doesn’t bring you joy or satisfaction, let it go.
As you reframe your life, your peace and happiness will increase. The more you release, the better you will feel.
The Grief and Happiness Alliance
Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief
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