When I was a little girl, I loved going to visit my grandmother because she gave me such sweet hugs. She always smelled like her carnation toilet water, and her soft, strong arms made me feel loved and secure. However, she was my only source for hugs. I did not see other people hugging. My parents held hands, but I didn’t see them hugging. The only time I remember my mother hugging me was when I was distraught over the miscarriage I had.
I finally started giving and receiving hugs from my husband Jacques’s Italian family. I felt a part of his family with all those hugs and kisses on my cheek. They didn’t have to know someone to greet them with a hug and a smile. What a wonderful feeling. I still am challenged in initiating a hug, but I definitely hug back when someone hugs me. And I feel the benefits of sharing hugs.
“Virginia Satir, a world-renowned family therapist, is famous for saying ’We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.’” That sounds so wonderful, yet when we are grieving, often no one is there to share a hug with. I have taught myself to reach out to people when they are sad. I start with something not as intimate as a hug, like sitting next to them, putting my hand on their shoulder, or holding their hand. You can feel the positive energy flowing between you.
Research indicates that there are many benefits from hugging, like:
- Protecting your heart
- Reducing your stress
- Increasing your happiness
- Enhancing your relationships
- Promoting better sleep
- Improving your mood and relationships
- And many more
How do you feel when you give or get a hug? Human touch is a vital part of being alive, and touching animals is also beneficial. I love when my neighbor brings her dog to visit me. He loves to be petted, and I love to pet him. I don’t remember the last time I was around a cat until last week. I visited a friend and her big, soft cat climbed on to my lap and started to purr. That felt so good.
Find a way to include more touch and hugs into your life. I know it will make you feel better.
The Grief and Happiness Alliance
Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief
Emily Thiroux Threatt email is [email protected]
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