When anyone asks me what the most important thing to do while grieving is, I always respond “Self-care.” Generally, taking good care of ourselves while we are focused on the barrage of things that hit us during grief is the last thing we have on our minds. And if we do think of it, excuses […]
All of us experience being blindsided in some way, some more than others. Someone may call with bad news. You may trip on a crack in the sidewalk. Maybe your alarm didn’t go off, or you forgot about an important appointment. When this happens, you may feel lousy and even shed some tears of frustration. […]
August was Make a Will month. If you don’t already have a Will, this is a perfect time to make one. If you do have a Will, now is a good time to check it and see if it needs any updates. And be sure that who you have chosen as an executor knows where […]
Grief affects our perspective. I have a beautiful view from the lanai at the back of my house. I looked across the island of Maui to the West Maui Mountains crowned by pure white clouds. I looked at the valley that bisects the island. I gazed at my glorious garden of tropical plants and bananas. […]
One thing in life that is for sure is you can’t go back, can’t have a do-over. When dealing with grief for anyone or anything, many of us spend lots of time thinking about the past. We cherish all that was good about our loved ones, and dwell on unpleasant times or things we are […]
When I was a little girl, I loved going to visit my grandmother because she gave me such sweet hugs. She always smelled like her carnation toilet water, and her soft, strong arms made me feel loved and secure. However, she was my only source for hugs. I did not see other people hugging. My […]
I read some sage advice recently that said, “Live every day like it’s your first.” We’ve all heard that phrase using the word last instead of first, but I loved this fresh perspective. My friend Laurelee owns and lives on Leilani Farm Sanctuary on Maui. She invited my group of friends who do watercolor paintings […]
Most of us don’t feel happy all the time, but it is possible. In early grief, we are likely to have feelings like sadness, loneliness, and hopelessness. While that’s not unusual, staying weighed down with these feelings is not in your best interest. The best way to deal with this is to practice good self-care. […]
The first big challenge everyone faces in grief is change. Nothing will ever be the same. When this realization hits, often we become immobilized. We can feel stuck. Decision making can feel beyond our capacity. You may not even realize this is happening, so here is some help. First, explore what you are experiencing. This […]
While grieving, often what we miss the most is the physical presence of a loved one. When that happens, we also deal with what we perceive as the absence of love. Though this may be a feeling you have, know that love always remains. To deal with this, the first thing we can do is […]