Of all the challenges that people face while grieving, the one I hear the most about is loneliness. This can happen before and or after the death of a loved one. As we get older, most often we become less social because often it is just too hard. Maybe you can’t drive and don’t have transportation. Maybe you feel you don’t have the energy to go anyplace. Maybe you have lost touch with your friends and maybe even with your family. I am sure you can think of even more excuses. The good news is you can do something to negate all these excuses.
Do you find yourself sitting alone in your home bemoaning the fact that no one is with you? Try calling a friend. If they live nearby, invite them to visit you or arrange to meet them for coffee or lunch. They may be lonely too and would love to spend sone time with you. I have a neighbor who I am in contact with every day. She’ll bring her little dog to visit or she’ll come to see if I have an ingredient she next to follow a recipe she wants to try. I always welcome her visits, and I am grateful for the way we care for each other.
What would you love to do? I am now doing watercolor painting with friends every week. I love spending time with them as much as I enjoy painting. One member of that group invited me to join a group she is in who attend plays and concerts together, and I love that. We even go out to dinner together after the matinees. I have another friend that I attend film festivals with and we also take online painting classes together.
Being around other people who you enjoy is very important. Staying home by yourself all the time can be very lonely and even dangerous. Dr. Julianne Holt-Lundstad, director of Brigham Young University’s Social Connection & Health Lab says, “Isolation and loneliness have been found to harm health as much or more than smoking 15 cigarettes a day.” This statement startled me and makes me feel good about my commitment to stay connected.
What can you do now to stay connected?
Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief
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