Joy

The Joy of Self-Expression and Actualization

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In my Reclaiming Your Joy After Loss group in Facebook, Teresa suggested that I write about the joy of self-expression and self-actualization. I love this idea because participating in self-expression led to my self-actualization after Ron’s death.

Throughout my life, I have thrived on self-expression, whether it be through creating a home for my family, loving my husbands, writing books, teaching, acting, weaving, quilting, cooking, painting, or expressing love to others. After Ron’s transition, I found myself questioning what I was supposed to do next. While I have greatly enjoyed expressing myself up to this point, I felt like there must be something more, something else I was meant to do. I spent much time in meditation dwelling on this subject, and I started listening to my intuition. When our good friend Chappy died suddenly, I knew immediately that I needed to write his wife Lori a letter from my heart with things she needed to know right then. That letter led to me creating cards to send her for 52 weeks, the first years of her grief. The messages in those cards just flowed out from me over a period of two days. These cards led me to write my book, Reclaiming Joy After Loss and start a group to help those grieving write through their loss. Which led to my group online and my online classes on writing through loss.

All of this self-expression let me to know that I have discovered my life’s purpose, my self-actualization, of helping others actively work through their grief to discover joy again. This process has brought me to a place of great peace. I look at things objectively without judgement. I practice deep gratitude very day. I easily focus on problem solving in a gentle, positive, constructive manner. I greatly enjoy time in meditation and just sitting on my lanai (patio in Hawaiian) watching the beautiful view and listening to the birds. I welcome opportunities to support others through the grieving process. I am open to new experiences and meeting new people, and I am greatly enjoying the journey of my life!

What can you do to practice self-expression? The easy answer is, whatever you want! Start simply by writing a Facebook post, or by posting a favorite picture on Instagram. Paint something beautiful. If you have always wanted to paint but don’t feel you know how, take a class. Or take a class in anything you’ve always wanted to do like ceramics, golf, or dance. Or take classes to explore your beliefs and spirituality. Discover a way that you can best express yourself, then do it. Make time to do it on a regular basis. Make that time sacred so you won’t talk yourself out of doing what you love. We are good at that, not allowing ourselves the pleasure we desire. Make yourself your priority in this process.  And each time you accomplish something along this journey, celebrate! Smile! Jump for joy! Post a picture of what you did, or share your accomplishment with a friend.

The more you practice self-expression, and the more ways you discover to express yourself, the closer you will come to your own self-actualization. One day you will wake up and discover that you are there. You have found the meaning of your life. You know what you are supposed to be doing. Your joy will be great. And your life will be even more wonderful. Get started today. What do you really want to do?

 

If you would like to take a class from me about writing your memories, use this link for 25% off the regular price for my blog readers!

 

 

 

What Can I Celebrate Today?

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Every morning I write out my gratitude list before I do anything else. This way I start my day feeling positive and smiling, recognizing how wonderful my life actually is. I listened recently to an interview Oprah did with Lynn Twist, who Is a major inspiration in my life. Lynn learned much about money, scarcity, and enoughness when she was the Director of Development for The World Hunger Fund. Much of her philosophy is based on recognizing what you already have and making the most of it. In her interview, she suggested instead of just writing a gratitude list, that celebrating what you are grateful for can help solidify whatever that is, making it a highlight in your life.

So, what can you celebrate today? For me, when I woke up this morning I was thinking of how many people I know who are having serious health challenges right now, and instead of worrying about them, I realized I am grateful to be able to serve them. We made home-made chicken soup for a friend with pneumonia, brownies for a bed ridden friend with a sweet tooth, sent cards and notes to a friend grieving, sent cheery texts with beautiful pictures to a hospitalized friend, and talk on the phone to a friend asking for guidance. Instead of focusing on the negative, I focus on the positive. I celebrate today that each of these friends are alive and that I can shower them with love.

I encourage you to watch Lynn’s interview with Oprah, watch her TED Talk, and even ready her inspirational book, The Soul of Money. You will love her. My whole attitude toward money and life in general changed when I read that book.

 

 

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Happy May Day!

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Happy May Day! I remember as a child creating little paper baskets that I could put flowers in. I filled them with roses from our garden and hung them on my neighbors’ doorknobs. I always dreamed of dancing around a maypole with flowers in my hair grasping a ribbon attached to the top of the pole. And I heard that May Day was celebrated with cake, so I was always looking for one that never seemed to appea r. I think I’ll bake my own cake today!

May Day is a Northern Hemisphere celebration supposedly to welcome summer, though summer doesn’t officially start till June 21. I plan to celebrate anyway. I choose to go for a walk and pay attention to all the lovely flowers blooming now. If you have flowers you can pick from your garden, I encourage you to share some to celebrate with your loved ones. We don’t really need to have a certain day set aside to celebrate. I see the value of celebrating every day that I am alive, that I can do something significant to help others, and that I can breathe and enjoy this wonderful world! I feel all my loved ones who have transitioned smiling and me today and sending lots of love!

I am happy to wish you Happy May Day and hope that you will pass this greeting along with a great, big smile!

Spring Up!

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Easter for me has always reminded me of a fresh start. That after a time of stillness, it’s time to begin again. In my heart I know that I am whole, complete, and perfect, and I know that making the best of each moment is my goal.

I remember wonderful times growing up where the family gathered with tons of food, especially ham and potato salad. We’d eat outdoors and wild flowers blanketed the hillside. Mom taught me the names of all the different wild flowers. I especially loved lupine and poppies. 

Now missing all that family, I will remember them and start my own new tradition of a little beach picnic that must include potato salad and flowers. I will bring to mind each of those loved ones with sweet memories and in their honor, plan my fresh start blossoming more each day, opening up to more light, more, love, more joy. I wish this for you, too!

I have created a new, Closed Facebook group just for my followers to share about reclaiming their joy after loss. I will be posting ideas to support you on your journey. Go to this link to join:  http://facebook.com/groups/ReclaimingYourJoyAfterLoss