Most of my life I have been in a rush. Everything was a rush, from struggling to get up early enough in the morning, to rushing to work, often slowing down to grab something I could eat in the car. That pace would continue all day through all my obligations that varied every day. Often, I would struggle to remember what the time was for each meeting or class I had to attend. Not taking time to check in with my husband was I habit I learned to regret.

I would arrive home at the end of my day, and my sweet Jacques would make something for me to eat like a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of ice cream. If I didn’t fall asleep while eating, we would share how our days had gone. And the next day all that would repeat. Those days, I was either teaching at the university or running my own business, and participating in public service, being on committees, and so much more.

I rarely took time to catch my breath. Then my husband’s heart started to fail. My focus shifted from everything I was doing to taking care of him. I went from operating on fumes most of the time to consciously sitting with him when he had the energy to so we could have long, interesting conversations.

What broke my heart was the realization that all my rushing to get things done had taken me away from the precious time we could have shared. I was happy to care for him and to meet his needs the best I could, while at the same time I found I was living with regret. If I hadn’t been so busy earlier in our marriage, we could have enjoyed each other so much more. While difficult because of his health, those last two years with him were precious. We were married 22 years.

I thought I would never marry again, but I met Ron and we fell in love easily. I had learned my lesson of how rushing didn’t serve me or anyone I was dealing with, so I did gradually slow down. We would spend cool early mornings outside our home not far from the beach sitting by the warm fire of the chimenea. We would read to each other, meditate, and plan how we would be spending our life together. We spent ten wonderful years together taking time to enjoy the moments.

Now I have spent nine years as a widow, and I’m doing so well. By learning how to take my time, I find joy in my moments, and I love that. If you are in a hurry, please slow down. Breathe deeply. Spend time outside. Enjoy the beauty of nature. And make the most of all the moments of your life.

 

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