We’ve all heard “Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,” but I heard “Whatever happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness,” and that made me think. Am I living in vagueness? In early grief I certainly was.
I remember that even though I live on Maui with radiant tropical flowers and spectacular sunsets, everything seemed grey and lifeless. What had been my favorite foods had little taste. When people talked around me, their words seemed to run together and not related to anything in particular. I sometimes turned the television on just for background noise, and that’s all it was: noise.
After a while, I started realizing that not paying attention to the world and beauty wasn’t serving me, and that I was the only one who could do something about that. I started going on walks, just around the neighborhood. I made it my goal to discover something I had not seen before every time I went out. I would take time with that. I smelled the fresh fragrances and took pictures on my phone of the vibrant colors.
I also started eating different foods like the tropical fruits at the Farmer’s Market. I played different music genres and found a wide variety of music I enjoyed that I was surprised by. As time passed, I found myself talking to different people than I had known before and contacting old friends too.
As I acclimated to my now solo life, I saw that it was more lovely than I thought it would be. The color returned as the vagueness floated away. The color came back to my cheeks and I even started smiling. Grief takes time, but with patience, we can move back out into the sunlight.
Are you living in vagueness, or you ready to smell the flowers?
Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief
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