When anyone asks me what the most important thing to do while grieving is, I always respond “Self-care.” Generally, taking good care of ourselves while we are focused on the barrage of things that hit us during grief is the last thing we have on our minds. And if we do think of it, excuses on why not to pay attention to our personal needs often block our way. We turn to excuses like “I am too tired,” “I don’t have the energy,” or even “I just don’t care.” All these responses don’t serve us and just make the situation worse. The good news is by eliminating excuses for not doing what would help you feel better, you can start feeling better.
If you are saying “I’m too tired,” ask yourself if you really are tired. If you really are tired, take a nap or cuddle up in a cozy chair and read a good book. Grieving takes lots of energy, and resting may be just what you need.
If you are saying “I don’t have the energy,” ask yourself why you don’t have the energy. Ironically, the less you do, the more out of energy you can feel. When you feel your energy drain, try going for a walk, or doing some laundry, or clean out a drawer you’ve been meaning to. Doing things like this may inspire you to do other things you might enjoy like picking some flowers, baking some cookies, or watching a movie you’ve wanted to see. Doing what you love to do can generate more energy.
If you are saying “I just don’t care,” pay attention to that. Caring for yourself is so important, and that’s something only you can do. What would you love to do that could help you shift your focus? If you really don’t care, you may be slipping into depression. If that is the case, make an appointment with your doctor or a counselor. Help is available.
Pay attention to what you say. Excuses never serve you. If you find yourself trying to justify what you are saying and what you aren’t doing, try restating your thoughts to take them in a more positive direction.
Eliminating excuses from your life can make room for more happiness. Enjoy!
You can listen to my Grief and Happiness podcast here or anyplace you listen to podcasts.
