Do you ever have a morning when it’s hard to get out of bed? You think about all the things you need to do and maybe feel a bit guilty about not getting started. Or maybe you were planning to fix dinner and didn’t get around to it, so another frozen dinner for you. Procrastination often can be overwhelming when you are grieving. You just may not want to do or think about anything, but procrastination does not serve you.
There are different types of procrastination, and they all play a part in bringing you down instead of dealing with your grief in a positive manner. However, when you recognize that you are procrastinating, you can start doing something about it, and you can discover how much better you can feel when it isn’t hanging over your head.
Procrastination can result in worrying. Perhaps you have lots of paperwork to do related to who or what you are grieving. This kind of task may be unfamiliar to you or just plain overwhelming. I can guarantee that the longer you put it off, the more all-encompassing the task will become. To deal with this, try organizing what you need to do. Put at the top of your list the easier things that won’t take too much time, especially if you are familiar with what’s required. If there are tasks that you are unfamiliar with, get some help from someone you know and are comfortable with. This could be a trusted friend, your financial planner, or your bookkeeper. Legal Aid may be available where you live. You may even want to contact your attorney for legal issues. There is no shame in reaching out and it can bring you much peace of mind.
When you put off required tasks that have deadlines, you can bring on much stress that can make tasks even harder to deal with. Be gentle with yourself and make a plan to get things done ahead of time so that you aren’t putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
Procrastination also occurs when you find yourself daydreaming instead of doing what you need to. Sometimes I could find myself sitting outside watching clouds go by while my dishes were stacked in the sink, my laundry wasn’t clean, my phone messages and emails weren’t responded to, and I had run out of groceries. While this may happen occasionally, it can easily become overwhelming and so much harder to deal with. Take some time to pay attention to what needs to be done and have a plan you will follow so thing won’t pile up. You will feel so much better when you aren’t overwhelmed by stuff.
Another trap you can fall into is perfectionism. If you are used to having your life in perfect order, when dealing with all the different issues that arrive during grief, things can easily fall out of order. This can result in you getting frustrated with yourself or even depressed or angry. Just thinking of this can be upsetting, and that doesn’t help.
What you can do to deal with the common issue of procrastination is to practice good selfcare. First, notice when you are procrastinating. That is a huge step. When you notice, think about why you are putting things off. Then try writing an intention that you can repeat to yourself whenever you need to. Let your own words be your inspiration. You have more strength than you know.
You can listen to my Grief and Happiness podcast here or anyplace you listen to podcasts.
