I have used a computer for many years, and there is one thing they all have in common. They don’t like to have too many things open at once, and since I do so much on my computer, I often don’t pay attention to this, and that’s a bad thing to do! I’ll be right in the middle of something important, as is everything I do on my computer, and suddenly it will decide it’s just too crowded and needs some space. When this happens, I have no choice but to shut it down and give it a little rest before I start it up again. Only when it does open, it demands that I close or fix lots of things before I can get back to what I really need to do.
Our bodies act in a similar way when a loved one dies, or we suffer a great loss. We can become physically overwhelmed and need to take a break. We rest. We sleep. We don’t notice what is going on around us. We forget to eat, or we eat too much of the wrong things mindlessly. We are challenged by having to make important decisions. We may crave peace and company at the same time. Basically, we are confused. And we do need to shut down, rest, and then restart fresh.
Now is the time to get a notebook divided into three sections, or maybe even get three notebooks, or set up Notes on your phone, or a spread sheet on your computer. The most important thing is to write everything down. Don’t trust your poor brain to remember things. It’s doing the best it can. And so are you. Create three lists. One list is for things you have completed. Another for things you have yet to do. And the last list is for things you would love to do, especially for things you have been putting off. Be sure to include dates and times where needed so things don’t slip through the cracks. These lists will give your brain a break for a while longer.
The big thing to remember is that there is no rush. Tasks needing to be done can wait. Take care of yourself. Go for a walk. Have cup of tea. Listen to some music. Just rest, then reset.
Emily Thiroux Threatt
The Grief and Happiness Alliance
Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief
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