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A Pressure Cooker Can Explode

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I remember looking forward to 2020, knowing that the future was bright and amazing things were going to happen.  What a surprise that those amazing things were not the positive changes I was anticipating.  Our world and our lives seem to have been turned upside down as well as shaken around. Add with our personal loss on top of that, and we are cruising toward personal disaster – if we allow that.  The key here is to recognize what is happening and know that we don’t have to sink into it all.

As I write this, I am outside surrounded by singing birds, blue skies, green grass, trees, and flowers.  I am sipping a luscious cup of tea and contemplating what is most important to me right now. My joy at this moment is that my sister, who has been in the hospital all week, had a procedure this morning that shocked her heart back into rhythm, she can breathe easily, and she can go home from the hospital today.  I am so thrilled with this news, and it helped me put things into perspective.

On a larger scale, we are still dealing with the pandemic.  And in the process of this, we are witnessing an outpouring of love and creativity to deal with all the facets of the crisis. Health care workers are being noticed, loved, appreciated, and respected on a grand scale, while in the past, they frequently were not noticed.  Parents are learning the value of our teachers and schools through practical experience with their children. People are volunteering and donating on a gigantic scale. We are working together to discover new ways to feed people. And we are discovering the importance and value of all kinds of work in society that we had, as a whole, generally ignored in the past.

And now we are dealing with the aftermath of the tragic death of George Floyd. Our nation is waking up to the fact that as we think we have come a long way from slavery times, we have not.  This death, especially at the hands of law enforcement who are supposed to be there to serve and protect, is a lynching none the same. This despicable act has served to awaken the people.  The demonstrations are no longer monochromatic.  People from all walks of life are standing side by side asking for justice for all and an end to senseless violence. The vast majority of the protesters are peaceful and coming together to wake us all up. And while some looting and violence is happening, this is just evidence of extreme frustration.

A pressure cooker works by expelling air and trapping steam to cook the contents quickly at higher temperatures, and if that steam is not released, the pressure cooker will explode. Through 2020, our country has become a pressure cooker where the temperature has become so high and the steam so full that if we can’t find a way to slowly release that steam safely, we are risking an explosion of a size we have not imagined before.

My prayer is for us to band together to demonstrate love, service, and support. Know that every one of us breathes the same air to stay alive. Let’s not pollute that air with violence and hate. Take care of yourself during this challenging time.  With each breath you take, breath in love, and breathe out all that doesn’t serve you. When every one of us focuses on love, we can make a difference. We can make the change so needed today to make 2020 be remembered as the year we all woke up and made the world a better place.

 

 

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Change Your World!

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I read a short book today named A Pocket Guide to Gratitude by one of our Reclaiming Your Joy After Loss group members, Karen Schaal.  It reminded me of my journey with gratitude that I thought I will share with you. Reflecting now, I can see clearly the division in my life from before I really started practicing gratitude to when I adopted a practice of focusing on gratitude every day.

My life was good. I was married to Jacques, a kind, brilliant, loving man, was involved in my community, and I loved what I was doing with my life. Then I had the opportunity to support him through the last two years of his life. Then I was alone. My attitude was negative. I was lonely. I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I mostly felt sorry for me. None of that was helping me at all, but I didn’t see it at the time. I was inspired to write a list of things I was grateful for after watching the move The Secret. I was hesitant at first with my negative attitude trying to convince me I didn’t have anything to be grateful for. Surprisingly, I discovered I had lots to be grateful for. The more items I wrote on my list, the more grateful I became, and the more things I thought of to be grateful for.

Soon I realized that I was thanking people all the time. I was smiling more than I had in years, and my attitude had mostly switched to positive. I did learn to pay attention when I would automatically react with a knee-jerk negative thought, but as I paid attention to this, it happened less and less. I have continued my gratitude practice for 12 years now and it grows stronger all the time. Reading that book today, it really hit me that I am such a different person than I was before. I focus on the good, on reaching out, and on being grateful for every moment making every moment something to be grateful for.

Recognizing what you are grateful for can’t help but make you smile. And all those smiles bring so much positivity into your life. I encourage you to focus on what you are grateful in your life. One way you can do this is by “Flipping the script.” What I mean by this is to notice when you start drifting into negativity. For instance, you might say “I have nothing to be grateful for since my loved one died, and I am alone.” Yes, that is sad, but you can find something positive by saying, “I am grateful for all the years, the moments I had with my loved one.” Or “I am grateful for the wonderful conversations we had.” Thinking those thoughts with a positive attitude can bring you a smile. And you will discover things to actively do to bring more smiles based on those thoughts. You could invite a friend for a cup of tea or glass of wine and have a lovely conversation. Or you could spend some time with a friend or family member doing something that brings you both joy.

You can feel so much better when you focus on all the good in your life instead of on the negative. I encourage you to write down 5 things you are grateful for right now in this moment. Then see how good it feels. Then keep up the practice. You’ll be so glad you do!

 

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