Smile

70

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Earlier in life, I thought 70 was pretty old. Now that I am 70, I’ve changed my mind on that. The older I get, the younger I feel. When my mother was 70, she looked and acted like my former perception of 70, so I thought that was what was in store for me. I’ve since drastically changed my perception. Now I know that I can have and do anything I want, and I can release everything I know longer need. What does that look like?

When I have faced a few health challenges, I pay attention to them and reflect on what the challenges are trying to teach me. For instance, when I started getting dehydrated, I realized that I needed to drink more water. I know that sounds simple, but I just hadn’t been paying attention to what I was drinking, so when I drank less, I also ate less and started to feel lousy. I saw that there was a simple fix to that, and as I drank more, I started to eat more, and my energy came back, and I feel so much better! This made me remember that taking good care of my self is my priority. Like they say when we fly, put the oxygen mask on yourself first. That’s the only way I will be able to live the life of service that I desire.

Another example was that I was getting so low on energy. I just sat and read or worked on the computer. The longer I sat, the less energy I had. Again, there was an easy cure. I got up! I went to a retreat in the mountains where there was lots of walking in a beautiful space. I visited family who walk everywhere, and I went on beautiful walks with them.  I even went to an Aeriel yoga class. Floating in silk doing Vipassana was a transforming experience! Now I am looking forward to the joy of movement, of walking, of feeling wonderful!

My Ohana, Hawaiian for family, gave me a wonderful celebration in honor of my birthday. I danced all night and loved every moment! That felt so great! I realize the age is just a number. I can choose to feel old. I can choose to feel young. I choose to feel great in every moment and to release any thought or stuff that no longer serve me! My intention in this new decade is to focus on life, on living, on service, and on love! And I encourage you to join me on this journey.

 

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The Joy of Self-Expression and Actualization

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In my Reclaiming Your Joy After Loss group in Facebook, Teresa suggested that I write about the joy of self-expression and self-actualization. I love this idea because participating in self-expression led to my self-actualization after Ron’s death.

Throughout my life, I have thrived on self-expression, whether it be through creating a home for my family, loving my husbands, writing books, teaching, acting, weaving, quilting, cooking, painting, or expressing love to others. After Ron’s transition, I found myself questioning what I was supposed to do next. While I have greatly enjoyed expressing myself up to this point, I felt like there must be something more, something else I was meant to do. I spent much time in meditation dwelling on this subject, and I started listening to my intuition. When our good friend Chappy died suddenly, I knew immediately that I needed to write his wife Lori a letter from my heart with things she needed to know right then. That letter led to me creating cards to send her for 52 weeks, the first years of her grief. The messages in those cards just flowed out from me over a period of two days. These cards led me to write my book, Reclaiming Joy After Loss and start a group to help those grieving write through their loss. Which led to my group online and my online classes on writing through loss.

All of this self-expression let me to know that I have discovered my life’s purpose, my self-actualization, of helping others actively work through their grief to discover joy again. This process has brought me to a place of great peace. I look at things objectively without judgement. I practice deep gratitude very day. I easily focus on problem solving in a gentle, positive, constructive manner. I greatly enjoy time in meditation and just sitting on my lanai (patio in Hawaiian) watching the beautiful view and listening to the birds. I welcome opportunities to support others through the grieving process. I am open to new experiences and meeting new people, and I am greatly enjoying the journey of my life!

What can you do to practice self-expression? The easy answer is, whatever you want! Start simply by writing a Facebook post, or by posting a favorite picture on Instagram. Paint something beautiful. If you have always wanted to paint but don’t feel you know how, take a class. Or take a class in anything you’ve always wanted to do like ceramics, golf, or dance. Or take classes to explore your beliefs and spirituality. Discover a way that you can best express yourself, then do it. Make time to do it on a regular basis. Make that time sacred so you won’t talk yourself out of doing what you love. We are good at that, not allowing ourselves the pleasure we desire. Make yourself your priority in this process.  And each time you accomplish something along this journey, celebrate! Smile! Jump for joy! Post a picture of what you did, or share your accomplishment with a friend.

The more you practice self-expression, and the more ways you discover to express yourself, the closer you will come to your own self-actualization. One day you will wake up and discover that you are there. You have found the meaning of your life. You know what you are supposed to be doing. Your joy will be great. And your life will be even more wonderful. Get started today. What do you really want to do?

 

If you would like to take a class from me about writing your memories, use this link for 25% off the regular price for my blog readers!

 

 

 

Happy May Day!

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Happy May Day! I remember as a child creating little paper baskets that I could put flowers in. I filled them with roses from our garden and hung them on my neighbors’ doorknobs. I always dreamed of dancing around a maypole with flowers in my hair grasping a ribbon attached to the top of the pole. And I heard that May Day was celebrated with cake, so I was always looking for one that never seemed to appea r. I think I’ll bake my own cake today!

May Day is a Northern Hemisphere celebration supposedly to welcome summer, though summer doesn’t officially start till June 21. I plan to celebrate anyway. I choose to go for a walk and pay attention to all the lovely flowers blooming now. If you have flowers you can pick from your garden, I encourage you to share some to celebrate with your loved ones. We don’t really need to have a certain day set aside to celebrate. I see the value of celebrating every day that I am alive, that I can do something significant to help others, and that I can breathe and enjoy this wonderful world! I feel all my loved ones who have transitioned smiling and me today and sending lots of love!

I am happy to wish you Happy May Day and hope that you will pass this greeting along with a great, big smile!

Smile

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Comedian Bill Mahar ends his act on stage after each performance by singing silent film star Charlie Chaplin’s song Smile. The night I saw him, Woody Harrelson came on stage with him to play the piano and sing with him, and Paul Simon came on to sing with him too. What a treat! But when he announced that they would sing that song, I thought it was an odd choice because as I had heard the song throughout my life, I always thought it was kind of sad, and this was a comedy show.

When I woke up this morning with the music to the song running through my head, I decided I would look up the lyrics. I realized that the music came to me because that was just what I needed to hear today. Here they are for you:

Smile

Music by Charles Chaplin, Lyrics by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through
for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you’ll just
Smile

https://www.charliechaplin.com/en/articles/42-Smile-Lyrics

Scientific research shows that smiling actually affects your brain chemistry. The act of smiling works to lift your mood activating feelings of joy and happiness. When you smile big activating all the muscles in your face, you will notice the difference. And the more you smile, the more you will want to smile. “Smiling relaxes the facial muscles and calms the nervous system. Laughing sends more oxygen to the brain. That triggers the release of brain chemicals called endorphins. These chemicals help us feel positive. Laughing can lower blood pressure, relieve stress, and boost mood.” Robert Provine

Try this: take a deep breath in and smile big, then slowly breathe out, relaxing and maintaining your smile. Don’t you just feel better? And try this: look at someone who is talking to you right in the eyes and smile big. They may ask you what you are doing, but more likely, they will start smiling along with you. Seeing smiles inspires smiling, so not only will your spirits be lifted, but so will those of who you are around.

So today, every time you pass a mirror or your reflection in a window, have that be a reminder to smile. The more you smile, the more you will want to smile, and notice how good it feels!