Surrender

We hold on so tight to our beliefs and our possessions, yet sometimes holding on actually builds resistance in a way that prevents forward movement. Can you think of a way that holding on is affecting you?

Ron and I had a home in Ventura, California. We were a mile from the beach, we could easily walk to stores and restaurants, we were surrounded by friends, and we had a huge yard to garden in and with lots of avocado trees. I thought this was our forever home. We traveled to Europe, Central America, and South America, but we mostly traveled to Maui. Ron had lived on Maui many years before, and I knew he loved Maui.

On a visit to Maui he suggested that we move here. Immediately I panicked. What about all my friends and family? What about our wonderful home? And at the same moment, I knew Ron wanted to spend his last days on Maui, so I said yes. I had no idea what I was in for. We easily found a place to buy on Maui and quickly sold our Ventura home for an amazing profit that allowed our move to happen with ease and grace.

The process of this move showed me how much stuff we had accumulated. Our Ventura home was about double the size of our new Maui home, and it was full. How was I going to live not only without the home I loved, but also without all our stuff? And to top it off, Ron’s health was getting progressively worse, so basically, he watched while I packed. With each item I packed, I considered if I really wanted to ship whatever it was across the ocean. Did I really need or even want it?

Friends came to help me pack, and I was grateful to give things to them. Somehow knowing that someone I loved would have something I had considered precious eased the pain. And it felt so good to give things away. We also had a garage sale the turned into a joyous party with all our friends complete with the Bloody Mary’s Chappy brought.  We made over $3,000 dollars, so we really got rid of lots of stuff. And of course, I was giving more things away to my friends. When we still had stuff left and it was time to close, Rose made a big FREE sign, and it all disappeared.

After we arrived in Maui, we waited 6 weeks before our belongings arrived since they had to be transported by ship. During that time, we barrowed two chairs, we bought a fold up table and a blow-up mattress, and we essentially camped out in our new home. I was amazed, but it actually felt good not to be weighed down by all the stuff. During that time, we talked about what we needed to be comfortable, and when our container arrived, we ended up getting rid of much more stuff.

The whole experience of downsizing and moving across the ocean enabled me to see what was important. For Ron and me, it was the time we got to spend together. If that was affected by “stuff,” we let that stuff go. We spent our time mostly sitting on our lanai (Hawaiian for patio or porch), listening to the birds, watching the butterflies and clouds, and telling each other stories of love. We realized that all we really needed was those two borrowed chairs and a blow-up mattress.

Since Ron’s transition, I haven’t accumulated much more. I have collected a little Hawaiian art, and I have decorated my home with artwork I have created. And I have added items to my pantry in order to be creative with preparing a healthy diet. I have surrendered all that no longer serves me. Whenever I notice something I know longer need, I ask myself if there is someone I know who could use whatever it is. If not, I pass it on to the women’s shelter or the Salvation Army.

I feel so much lighter, like I have lost the weight of the world, or at least of my earthly possessions. And I am grateful for this lesson. What can you surrender?