Are You Afraid of Dying?

If you are afraid of dying, I encourage you to examine your feelings. I had the privilege with being with both of my husbands, my aunt, my mother-in-law, friends, and patients at the moment of their passing. In all of those cases, when it came right down to it, I sensed great peace. Well, except Jacques who looked very surprised and said “oh s###!” I think it came on him by surprise, and he never would have been ready.

I can honestly say I am not afraid.  I know this because I live in Hawaii, and when I received a message on my phone which said, “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREATT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” It came on a beautiful day. I was at home visiting with my friend Shena.  My son was in the back yard reading. The message came on our phones at the same moment. My first reaction was to call Jason in from the yard, and we turned on the television to see if there was any news. For 38 minutes, the three of us sat and considered the situation. There was no place to seek shelter, and we decided that if the islands were blown up, we wouldn’t want to live through it. So in an atmosphere of disbelief, we expressed our love to each other, said goodbye, and had a deep conversation while we waited. When the second message came 38 minutes later saying it was a false alarm, we just went on about our day.

The experience of receiving that alert caused me to examine how I actually felt, and I concluded that I felt fine. When the threat appeared real, my thoughts were that I have had an amazing life, I live in a wonderful place, I am filled with love from special friends and family, and I have no regrets. I don’t have a bucket list because if I want to do something, I do it or plan it instead of waiting to see if I may get around to it in the future. All of my affairs are in order so I am not leaving a mess for my loved ones to deal with, and that feels great.

There is an often quoted thought that the only two emotions in life are love and fear. In the case of fearing death, that can occur from not having your affairs in order. Be sure you have a Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare where you designate what you want to happen in regard to your medical care. You can get a free form online that you can fill out. Do check what the requirements are in your state. In Hawaii they have a completely different form and it’s the only one they accept. And get your financial affairs in order and make sure someone knows what you want and where everything is. You can even plan your own funeral ahead of time, make the arrangements, and pay for it.  That way no one has to worry about it when the time comes.

 The most important thing to do though is to express your love and gratitude to all your family and special friends. Let them have your love be what they remember you by. So the choice for me is easy between love and fear. I always choose love. And that is my wish for you.